I recently watched Lili Reinhart’s speech from the 2019 Glamour WOTY awards, and It really struck a chord in me. I don’t think there has ever been a time when I have been 100% happy with the way I look. When I was younger, I was really, really thin. I was probably the skinniest I’ve ever been at around 13/14 years of age and I try to avoid looking at photos of myself from around then because I really don’t like the way I used to look. Nowadays I’m a size 10/12 but it would seem that when it comes to my weight I can never win. I spent the majority of my teenage years being underweight and now, according to the NHS, I am considered overweight for my height at a size 10/12. 🙄
I, like everyone, have days where I just feel really down about the way I look. I’m not sure why, and thankfully those thoughts are short-lived but I suppose we all have things about ourselves we wish we could change slightly! I’m not necessarily bothered so much about losing weight, I just want to tone up a bit and get fitter, and if I lose weight along the way, then that’s a bonus I guess!
This is something I keep saying I’m going to do and never actually do, but I’m determined to stick to it this time!
I really disliked sports at school, I was unfortunate enough to go to a school that specialised in sports and fitness. They seemed to only ever do outdoor P.E. lessons when it was raining and indoor ones when the sun was shining and it was always something crap like football and that just wasn’t for me! As a result of this, I’ve never been very fit!
As much as I would like to, I don’t go to the gym. I tend to do home workouts as I know that I would probably not use the gym enough to make the membership costs worth it! I have a few bits of workout equipment at home such as an exercise/yoga mat, a kettlebell weight and some resistance bands and I tend to just put on a PopSugar workout video and follow along.
Before I started exercising a few nights a week, I would be out of breath walking up flights of stairs but I’m now happy to say I can do this without any issue (it’s the little victories!) The main problem I have to tackle is the fact that we live right at the top of a hill and walking anywhere requires having to climb back up said hill upon return – this is where I really struggle. I think my issue is that I try to do it too quickly and by the time I reach the top, my lungs feel like they are going to explode!
The main things I want to be able to achieve this year are:
– Get fitter (be able to walk up a hill without feeling like I’m dying)
– Tone up (lose some of those wobbly bits!)
– Take up running. I know this is something everyone seems to be doing at the moment but I love the feeling I get after a good workout, the adrenaline and getting my heart pumping is a great feeling, it makes me feel good about myself and I think running is something I could really enjoy!
To attempt to achieve all this, I will be using a few apps to help me along the way:
Couch to 5k
Couch to 5K is exactly what you think it would be! It helps you get from couch potato to be able to run a 5k in just 9 weeks with regular and steadily increasing mixtures of walking and running/jogging. This is perfect for me!
30 Day Fitness Challenge
30 Day Fitness Challenge offers various different workouts for you to do across a span of 30 days – a great idea if you want to get into exercise over a short period of time!
My inspiration to get fit actually came from someone I used to work with, she started her fitness journey a year ago now and she looks incredible! She posts regular updates on her Instagram and always assures that if she can do it, anyone can, and I find that really encouraging ☺️
Finding My Style
Finding my style is another thing I have set out to do in 2019. I’ve noticed that I tend to buy clothes that are baggy to cover up, but I want to be able to go shopping and buy clothes knowing that I think they would look good on me instead of putting things back because ‘I could never pull that off’ (metaphorically and literally!) The main reason I decided to make an effort at finding my style this year is because I’ve just turned 22 and I feel like it’s time for a change! I’ve pretty much had the same clothes since I was about 18 and that was a pretty rough year for me so some those clothes are kind of like a daily reminder of those bad times and I really want to finally put a lid over that part of my life. I recently started a ‘wardrobe purge’ and I’ve been slowly throwing out things that I either haven’t worn in years, don’t fit me anymore or that I just no longer like!
In the weeks leading up to my birthday, I really struggled with the way I looked. I had gone through my wardrobe about a week before and ended up throwing out pretty much my entire summer dress collection because they no longer fit me. Needless to say, I felt awful. However, It’s true what they say about how the weather can affect your mood, the weekend around my birthday we had some really nice weather and the opportunity to step out of the baggy jumpers I’d been living in over the winter really changed the way I looked at myself. I felt conscious at first wearing a short-sleeved summer top, but then I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, actually, I don’t look as bad as my mind seems to think I do! I loved the way my outfit looked and It made me feel good about myself and more confident than I’ve felt in a long time.
I went into Primark that same day to return something to customer services and in front of me in the queue was a girl about my age and she was wearing the nicest outfit. I do take a lot of inspiration from what other people wear as well as just what I feel comfortable in and I wondered to myself where she must have gotten it from (I was too shy to ask!)
I then walked downstairs to the women’s section and there was the exact outfit on a mannequin in the shop window. Now, this was the kind of outfit I would usually only ever dream of being able to pull off, something I would normally end up talking myself out of and putting back before I get to the checkout, however, thanks to the sunshine bringing me a new found confidence, I picked up my size in each of the components and walked straight to the checkout. I went home feeling great about myself and was excited to try on my new purchases!
I couldn’t help but think, this is how we should always feel about ourselves!
I for one know that I am my own worst enemy. I over-think things and end up getting inside my own head, but I’ve made a mental note to cut myself some slack. As we all should! I do try to make a conscious effort not to put myself down or feel bad about myself because:
1) I have young girls in my family whom I want to set a good example for
2) it’s not good for the mind!
There’s far too much negativity in the world for you to be throwing any at yourself 😊
So with that, my fitness and body positivity journey begins/continues! I’ll try to post regular updates both here and on my Instagram @bethroseblog If you have any tips or recommendations, please let me know!
Until next time!